Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. No resemblance to any person dead or alive is intended. Now that may be hard to believe for some people, but I assure you that it is a made up story. Please do not try to read between the lines.
I don’t really know what to say, which is not generally the case with me. You know I never had any trouble with words or with talking. But tonight, I am at a loss. For I have sinned, I know. And I am sorry. I know you hate it when I say that but you always told me to be true to myself and share with you the way I felt. And I feel sorry. And bad. Sorry for the way things turned out between us. No, there is no evading responsibility, not this time. I will not assign the blame to abstract circumstances or to fortune. It is finally time to own up. I feel sorry about the way I made the choices I made and for what you had to go through…
I have no defense to put up, no excuse to offer for what I did. It was wrong and no matter what I may say or do now won’t make the viciousness of my deeds go away. I, who thought I could never go wrong, stand corrected today, in shame. And the shame is as much due to the fact that I failed you as due to the manner in which I failed you and the way you carried it like it didn’t matter when I knew, was the only one who knew, how shattered you were.
You know what the worst part about this affair. When I ask you to forgive me, I know you do. Wholly and with all your heart. And so, I, guilty as anyone can be, go free after committing this most heinous of crimes, while you, my victim, the anvil who bore the brunt of the blows that I landed, who I scarred for life maybe, what do you get ? You got tears then and I didn’t look back. And today when you forgive me with a smile on your lips, I know your heart is light. So maybe this is my punishment after all. To know that I had the greatest treasure in the world and that I squandered it away. To feel guilty for ever. Because even though you, you with your ever giving, generous spirit absolve me, I know that I can never make it up to you…
I have no defense to put up, no excuse to offer for what I did. It was wrong and no matter what I may say or do now won’t make the viciousness of my deeds go away. I, who thought I could never go wrong, stand corrected today, in shame. And the shame is as much due to the fact that I failed you as due to the manner in which I failed you and the way you carried it like it didn’t matter when I knew, was the only one who knew, how shattered you were.
You know what the worst part about this affair. When I ask you to forgive me, I know you do. Wholly and with all your heart. And so, I, guilty as anyone can be, go free after committing this most heinous of crimes, while you, my victim, the anvil who bore the brunt of the blows that I landed, who I scarred for life maybe, what do you get ? You got tears then and I didn’t look back. And today when you forgive me with a smile on your lips, I know your heart is light. So maybe this is my punishment after all. To know that I had the greatest treasure in the world and that I squandered it away. To feel guilty for ever. Because even though you, you with your ever giving, generous spirit absolve me, I know that I can never make it up to you…
